Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Naives Requiem, Final

 
    A week passed and she finally returns. I was really thrill. But suddenly there was a big change in her, she no longer wanted to hang out with me, it just so distant. And that really hit me like a 10-tonnes truck! I mean, here you have someone closest to you, and after a week without warning, she just shut you out! I don't exactly knows what happen back home, but seems to me she made her choice. At least tell me what went wrong rather than leaving me there to dry!

    Now its the boyfriend turn to laugh at me... Darn karma! All of sudden I am pitting myself against a tank with nothing but stick and stones.
 
    Guess all good things have to end! And I was at the bottom pit of my life. I felt terrible! I behave terrible! I think terrible! If anyone told me that I would one day acted like a complete wussy before, I would laugh them off, or punching them out! But here I am, in the most pathetic state in my life. I did do some make and break idiotic stuff to win her back, but i wasn't good enough then, maybe never will.
 
    Many terrible months or a year later, I did manage to muster some courage again and asked her what went wrong? She didn't ever answer that question and I don't know why.
 
    That would be the last time me showing such vulnerability and naivety. Now with her getting married, and to another person by the way. I believe I could finally laid this whole episode down to rest.

And aLittleMisfit lives as misfitly ever after.........
 

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Naives Requiem, Part -Two

    We rode my bike to the beach and to my credit, I don't even have the guts of telling her. "Are you really sure she likes you? What if you make a complete ass of yourself?".. these questions have been playing around in my mind! Finally! After "Ummm.. Aaaa.. Eerrr.. Eeee..." for like an eternity, Yang finally lose some patience and ask me "Is there something you wanted to tell me?". I was like wanted to shout "Of course! I like you godammit!" but the final version coming out my mouth is still "Ummm.. Aaaa.. Eerrr.. Eeee..." After much fiasco, I did FINALLY mummer out "Do you know that I like you, very much?" I didn't remember if she'd ever answer, we hug.

    She did asked me how did I felt that time. I answered "I'm feeling pity for your boyfriend." Wow! Talk about confidence. To make the night more memorable, the bike have flat tyre when we're heading back home! So we hired a ride home, which makes a bigger hole in my pocket! (I was dirt poor then! Still is poor now!) We hired a ride home... just like someone having an affair and doesn't wants anyone else know about it.

    Though Yang never actually commits anything, we were dating. There were plenty of "relation" mistakes I made during then, guess I just wasn't cut to be Casanova. Among most notable ones that I remember is when she asked me "What do you see in me?" Normally the technically correct answer would be something like praising her (Get your own tips!), but noooo, aLittleMisfit knows better.. I answered "Why do girls like to ask these questions anyway?!" Ouch! A little misfit answer right there.
 
    Soon it was the festival holiday and she went back home. I was disappointed though! I was hoping we could spend the first holiday together. It seems I had overrated my importance to her. Even more ouch is learning that her boyfriends footing the air ticket bill.
.... <to be continued... >

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Naives Requiem

    Its been a very exhausting time more me recently. Life sucks as usual, another new year wasn't helping much. Times like this where any "not great" stuff happens.

    I received a call from my old "flame" recently, lets just call her Yang. She saying that she's getting married soon and cordially invited me to her wedding dinner. I can't really believe its been 4 years gone by already!

    I actually could guess the reason she called. Its really kinda suck in my age where old friends who called out of the blue would have just 3 reasons:
        1. Getting Married
        2. Selling Insurance
        3. Direct Selling Scheme
How suck can it be? Come on, when a old pal called, your normal reaction would be "WOW! This fellow truly is a good pal!" and then when 3 reason came... you go "OH! I SEE...!!" Damnit!
 
    It happened back in the days when I was young and energetic. We somehow got close on our studies and she was my best "not so wacky" buddies then. With the passing of time, my studies was getting worst (thanks to my pc and games developer), and the more reliant I got to her (she's one of the better student). By then, I was happy talking and hanging around with her.
 
    Both of us never bothered by the chances of developing feelings toward each other as we were both attached to someone else back our respective home then. OK OK! Boys always will have a little bit of unfaithfulness within but I swear I wasn't hanging out for relation. But soon the friendship developed into something deeper. I don't know, she wasn't the drop-dead-gorgeous kind but I just can't help stepping deeper and deeper into her. Its sort of like sirens song of dead and I'm a guided sailor heading for doom. Finally, the feeling bag is about to burst and I started giving hints whenever chance I have.
 
    The final mid-semester break arrived and her room-mate went back holiday. That one week is the best I have on the whole friendship stuff. We went to the movies, shoppings, diners, and walk in the park, it almost like we're dating. Nearly the end of the week, I send her a flash clip of a cheesy love song (I was in love then godammit! Back off!) during a MSN session and ask her out again! It took her awhile to agree and I was thinking "This is it! It's finally the time!"........... <to be continued... >

Monday, January 08, 2007

New Year Resolution!

Year 2007 Resolution
Yeah! I know its late.... but fire away!!!

10) Flame less retards.
10) Hack my xbox-360!
9) Get e-maid running!
8) Getting more people to join ezineer.com!
7) Figure way to earn more money.
6) To actually earn more money!
5) Have a bloody vacation!
4) Move in new house.
3) Have threesome with 2 really hot chicks!
2) Go register for marriage.
1) Grow more hair~!